Fifty Years

Tomorrow we will celebrate our fiftieth wedding anniversary. My neighbor asked if we'd had a happy marriage (she's almost ninety, and as my mom used to say she felt could say or ask anything she wanted to when she turned 80!)  Anyway, I immediately said yes, that our marriage had been exceptionally happy. I decided to attempt to write a few reasons we've been able to enjoy fifty years with each other.

We were so young when we tied the knot, both twenty-one. However, our youth seemed to prove helpful as the years went by for many reasons: We were each others' one and only; we hadn't become set in our ways or rigid in our thinking; and as a song says, "We're young and healthy!" 

Not always completely healthy, even in our early years of marriage, we learned to rely on each other for comfort and care. Between us we've had broken bones, joint replacements, migraines, and depression, but through it all, we have usually reacted to one another with compassion and patience; losing sleep together, driving one another to the doctor, ER, and hospital, and dispensing medicine and love.. Once we had children these "opportunities for bonding" increased, and we shared responsibilities in their health care, taking turns staying home from work or bundling them up in the middle of the night for a trip to the doctor.

As with taking care of our children, we've never had strict rules about who did what. I've painted walls, pulled weeds, taken the trash barrels out to the curb, and carried my own luggage. Don has always done the grocery shopping, even when the kids were small. He irons his own clothing, loads the dishwasher, and likes to rustle up his own food once in a while. We both water plants, vacuum, and put sheets on the bed. 

Concerning the bedroom, before we got married we were counseled never to go to bed angry. We seldomly got to the point of really being angry because we made it a point to at least try to listen to the other's point of view without interrupting. The key word there is "Listen," not always easy to do when you're feeling frustrated, but so necessary. As a result, sleeping on the couch never became a reality, much less a pattern. We were on the same "wave-length" most of the time too, because we were both teachers and understood the problems and how worn out or concerned about work the other might be. 

There are many more factors that have made our marriage what it is, but I'll just finish with a little list: We pray and worship together; We try to be as polite to each other as to a respected friend; We never leave without saying "Goodbye" and kissing; We pick up our own clothing, dishes, papers, and anything else we've gotten out; We shield each other by not discussing faults with anyone or getting a laugh at the expense of our mate; We don't tell the other what to do or how to do anything. Oh, and we make each other laugh a lot! 

Being human, we mess up.  But when we do, we work at making it right as soon as possible, apologizing, extending grace to the other, and remembering what to do the next time. Hallmark has said it well in a card we got today.

 "Not every couple can stick together through

 both the good times and the bad,

 trusting, forgiving, and encouraging each other

 for fifty golden years.

 Not every couple can celebrate

 what you celebrate today~

a love that has stood

 the test of time,

 a love blessed by God, 

a love more precious than gold!"  

 1Thessalonians 3:12 ~ May the Lord make your love

 increase and overflow for each other.

Restless Wind

The wind was blowing ever so slightly this morning here in San Marcos, only a 1 on my "Richter Scale of Wind Events!"   It sparked a discussion of our wind experiences and I thought I'd catagorize them here on my own Wind Scale.

Measurement #                 Wind Activity

    1          Gently blowing ears of my dogs as they proudly stick their heads out of the
                car window.
    2          Spring breezes scattering leaves across the grass.
    3          Whistling at the windows and doors;  leaves gathering in little piles
                around the plants.
    4          Currents extinguishing outdoor candles immediately upon lighting,  even
                in glass chimneys.
    5          Gusts  spreading trash around the neighborhood.
    6          Strong gusts picking up anything under 50 pounds; taking out every loose
                item in the car.
                upon opening the doors. Shaking a portable classroom; turning an umbrella
                inside out.
                Scooping out the contents of a cup; once a malt, another time, coffee.
    7          Rattling and sometimes breaking large windows; breaking branches
                from trees
    8          Catching any open door and slamming it forcefully;         
                knocking doors off their hinges,  breaking ribs of the person in the way.
    9          Uprooting whole trees, taking a metal shed over the wall,
                destroying the wall.
  10          Taking down all the utility poles for a block,  jamming traffic for hours.
                Catching the fire burning across the foothills, creating a blow torch effect.


When we first moved to Cucamonga in 1971, my memory didn't include many wind stories. However, within a few days, we began to discover real wind. All of the above activities of this weather phenomenon really happened to us or someone we knew well, during the years we lived in San Bernardino County. Don and I agreed we miss the wind and the excitement it brings; at least up to Measurement #6 on my scale. 

There's a real measurement called  the Beaufort scale; a wind of force 2 to 6 on the Beaufort scale (4–27 knots or 4.5-31 mph) is a breeze. A 10 would include"Very widespread damage to vegetation. Some windows may break; mobile homes and poorly constructed sheds and barns are damaged. Debris and unsecured objects are hurled about."  

Oddly enough, my wind scale and Beaufort's are similar, even though I just read the whole Wiki entry after creating my own. The bottom line is that not all wind experiences are as sweet as Rossetti's poem.

Sleep; The Elusive Dream

I used to sleep like the proverbial log when I was younger and would wonder about the occasional person I heard about who couldn't sleep. Drinking a cup or two of coffee later in the evening never bothered me, and my husband always said I was asleep within minutes of putting my head on the pillow. Only if it was within an hour of my actual alarm time would it be hard for me to slip back into slumber. Then, thoughts of the day ahead would overtake my desire for a little more sleep. 

Now that I'm retired, sleeping has become a struggle. Getting to sleep still seems to be a happy thought, and my comforter, crisp white sheets, and fresh air pouring in all the bedroom windows beckon me as I nod off on the couch. However, only one or two hours of unconsciousness is mine before my eyes pop open and my every-other-hour trips to sleeplessness begin.  Curiousity gets the best of me and then I check the clock. Yep, I was awake only an hour ago. 

Exercise seems to be a factor;  if I haven't gotten any exercise during the day my legs get the "wiggles" and I need to walk through the house listening to my iPod for an hour. Too much exercise causes my calf muscles to cramp up, sending me straight up and out of bed in an effort to stretch the offending culprits. And drinking coffee before bed? Forget about it and anything else after 3:00! You get the picture.

Other facets of my sleeplessness can include: I'm too hot, too cold, the pillow feels like a rock or a sponge depending on my state of mind; both of us snore and wake the other one up regularly; and irritating at the least, and a bit scary, is my inability to get a certain tune out of my head. It will be there when I wake up even if I haven't listened to it for days and have worked at getting other songs into my repertoire. Ugh. 

Not one for taking medications unless prescribed by the doctor, "the green butterfly" (Ambien)  and his associates won't become part of my pill taking. Melatonin, St. John's Wart, and the occasional Tylenol will have to suffice. Their effects don't last until noon either. 

Vivid in my memory is Michael J. Foxx in some episodes of Family Ties when he went sleepless for many days and was so miserable, and it reminds me that my sleep troubles are minor and don't interfere with my life.  

RV-ing It

Last Sunday we set out for our first-ever stay in a recreational vehicle. Something inside both of us has always wished for this experience. We had stayed with Mab and Joe Hoover (my mom and her husband) in their RV out in Death Valley one weekend many years ago, but hadn't done it alone. Long discussions about insurance, gas prices, and driving such a large vehicle always made us shy away from renting one. However, during our stay in Anza Borrego last year, our friends, Jim and Linda Roller, showed us a lovely RV park there. Wonder of wonders, the RVs, actually fifth wheel trailers for rent, were already parked, stabilized, and ready for occupancy.

We were excited and pleased with our surroundings; desert beauty, clean sites with various types and sizes of RVs nearby, and "our" RV, just waiting for us to enter and enjoy. I was anticipating the "dollhouse" effect, and was only a bit dismayed when I could hardly step up on the first of four steps into our home for the next three days. They were killers! At least there was a strong bar on the side of the RV to hang onto as we climbed, and we made it up and in.

Once inside, Don immediately bumped his head on an overhang, and I was reminded of seeing
 Joe, , bash his poor forehead at least twice during our outing with them. Sorry to say, Don exceeded Joe's bumping record within the first twenty-four hours. He's a tall guy!

By the way, the picture at the top is of daffodils Don brought secretly in the trunk to put out on the teeny-tiny table. . He knows how much I love flowers, and this bouquet brought me joy for three days. Of course, the scent of them was everywhere in the RV, and that was a good thing. Some of the other closed in odors weren't quite as nice. It was a very small space!

Speaking of small, as delicately as possible, we ended up going over to the restrooms at the pool. Three by three isn't optimum for, well, anything. Quote from Don: "I'd rather stay in a tent!"

One more gripe, and then I'll focus on the positive; trailers are designed to travel securely. That means no cupboard door or drawer should be able to open on its own while on the road. Seriously? I almost broke fingers and nearly pulled my shoulder out of it's socket trying to get into the silverware drawer and the towel closet!  Of course, the bathroom door opened by itself whenever bumped by a knee!

Cooking was fun after getting the burners lit with a match (oops, positive now, sorry), the bed was super comfortable once we climbed over stuff to get in (uh oh, did it again), and the view of stars in the middle of the night made it worth falling off the last step down. (darn) All in all, even including the 4.7 earthquake, we loved our little, tiny, short vacation! No need to have the discussion of renting one ever again.

California Traveling

We returned home last week from a five day trip up the highways and byways of our beloved state of California. We logged in approximately 1,200 miles on the 210, 57, 99, 5, 41, 46, 101, and travelled through some of the most beautiful land anywhere.


San Miguel Mission                                             Refugio State Beach

We viewed the Pacific Ocean from vantage points in Southern California, the Ventura coast, and other sandy spots farther north.


Hollywood at Sunset


Coming home, we drove slowly through Hollywood and Los Angeles, but there was no smog, just a glorious sunset as a backdrop to the magnificent skyline.

Throughout our years of traveling, it's been our pleasure to visit most of the State Parks and Beaches in our Golden State, and we look forward to catching two more Spanish Missions to complete that list. We could stay in California for all our vacations and be content.

One more thought: Much of what we've seen and visited has also been shown on Huell Howser's great program California's Gold. We'll miss him.

Christmas Acrostic

C - Christ came to become one of us.
H - Holy time to worship Him
R - Redeemer of sinful humanity
 I  - In the town of Bethlehem
 S - Shepherds, ordinary people, were told first.
 T - Temple Presentation of Jesus on the eight day.
M - Mary, His dear, courageous mother.
 A - Angels proclaimed the good news of great joy.
 S - Savior and Lord

J - Joseph, His loving earthly father.
O- Oh Come Let Us Adore Him!
Y - You can have Christmas Joy; Just say "Yes!"

Peyton

Everyone has heard that it's a good thing kids are born to the young, because they have the energy to keep up with them. There's a cliche in there somewhere, but I can't recall it. See, that's what I'm talking about! We took care of our younger granddaughter a few days this week, and even had her for the night. It seemed every little task or activity was harder than it used to be when we were young and raising her mother.
Check out her beautiful, blue, wild eyes and the dressed-up, also wild-eyed Dakota, the family dog. The night before, Peyton climbed into bed around 8:00, and the next morning was up at 5:45! Every  activity pictured was finished before 8:30 a.m.

Dressing up Dakota

Her own mixture for baked ornaments:
salt, flour, oatmeal, rice krispies, tea.

Breakfast of French toast

She painted and decorated this paper
plate Christmas tree.

Math in the Weekly Reader

I read three library books to her.

She built a fort out of the couch

 .

She read books to herself.

We also watched Tom and Jerry Christmas. Needless to say, Peyton is a human dynamo, and Grandmother is working hard to keep up!  I love it