Tomorrow we will celebrate our fiftieth wedding anniversary. My neighbor asked if we'd had a happy marriage (she's almost ninety, and as my mom used to say she felt could say or ask anything she wanted to when she turned 80!) Anyway, I immediately said yes, that our marriage had been exceptionally happy. I decided to attempt to write a few reasons we've been able to enjoy fifty years with each other.
We were so young when we tied the knot, both twenty-one. However, our youth seemed to prove helpful as the years went by for many reasons: We were each others' one and only; we hadn't become set in our ways or rigid in our thinking; and as a song says, "We're young and healthy!"
Not always completely healthy, even in our early years of marriage, we learned to rely on each other for comfort and care. Between us we've had broken bones, joint replacements, migraines, and depression, but through it all, we have usually reacted to one another with compassion and patience; losing sleep together, driving one another to the doctor, ER, and hospital, and dispensing medicine and love.. Once we had children these "opportunities for bonding" increased, and we shared responsibilities in their health care, taking turns staying home from work or bundling them up in the middle of the night for a trip to the doctor.
As with taking care of our children, we've never had strict rules about who did what. I've painted walls, pulled weeds, taken the trash barrels out to the curb, and carried my own luggage. Don has always done the grocery shopping, even when the kids were small. He irons his own clothing, loads the dishwasher, and likes to rustle up his own food once in a while. We both water plants, vacuum, and put sheets on the bed.
Concerning the bedroom, before we got married we were counseled never to go to bed angry. We seldomly got to the point of really being angry because we made it a point to at least try to listen to the other's point of view without interrupting. The key word there is "Listen," not always easy to do when you're feeling frustrated, but so necessary. As a result, sleeping on the couch never became a reality, much less a pattern. We were on the same "wave-length" most of the time too, because we were both teachers and understood the problems and how worn out or concerned about work the other might be.
There are many more factors that have made our marriage what it is, but I'll just finish with a little list: We pray and worship together; We try to be as polite to each other as to a respected friend; We never leave without saying "Goodbye" and kissing; We pick up our own clothing, dishes, papers, and anything else we've gotten out; We shield each other by not discussing faults with anyone or getting a laugh at the expense of our mate; We don't tell the other what to do or how to do anything. Oh, and we make each other laugh a lot!
Being human, we mess up. But when we do, we work at making it right as soon as possible, apologizing, extending grace to the other, and remembering what to do the next time. Hallmark has said it well in a card we got today.
"Not every couple can stick together through
both the good times and the bad,
trusting, forgiving, and encouraging each other
for fifty golden years.
Not every couple can celebrate
what you celebrate today~
a love that has stood
the test of time,
a love blessed by God,
a love more precious than gold!"
1Thessalonians 3:12 ~ May the Lord make your love
increase and overflow for each other.
